I'm Considerin Shavin One Of My Legs...

Well I wrote one yesterday and it got me thinkin and now it’s got me writin another one today. I loooooove to write. It’s such a great release. Obviously it’s not meant for everyone’s eyes but we’re all friends here so I just let it out. What a wonderful feelin…

I’d like to say that the reason I’m single is because that I don’t truly understand women but the truth is I understand them I think more than most men… I think. They don’t make it easy on us though. Instead of hintin at what they mean and then gettin upset that we as men can’t figure it out it would be so much easier if they just said exactly what they mean.

When I went out on dates once the date was over I was completely honest with the women about whether or not I wanted to see her again. I took the guess work and waitin right out of it. However that honesty wasn’t always reciprocated. So many times when I wanted to see a woman again after the first date they’d agree only to change their minds once we weren’t face to face. I get that it’s not the easiest thing to do to let someone down but it’s easier if you do it quickly right from the start instead of lyin and givin someone false hope. Sendin me home all floatin on clouds only to pull it out from under me the next day… that sucks!!

But this is the problem between women and men… honest communication. You can’t expect that ever person is gonna react the same way to the same situation. For example… a kiss on the first date…

I’ve gone out with woman that have taken it upon themselves to make that first move takin the guess work out of it for me. I looooooove women like that. I’ve gone out with women who said straight out that they don’t kiss on the first date. Datin made easy… say what you mean and what you believe and eeeeeeverything is soooooo much easier.

However… at the same time I’ve had an awesome first date with a woman ruined when I tried to kiss her because I thought it was something she would be ok with based on our previous conversations and the way that the night went. Plus from what I’d learned on dates before that unless otherwise specified it was ok.
I was wrong. Which is why it’s so fuckin confusin. Each woman is so different yet they seem to assume that they’re all the same and that we’re supposed to be able to easily tell the difference.

There has to be a little bit of leeway given especially for people from my generation. I mean come on I was raised on cartoons like Pepe Le Pew. This skunk chased around this cat tryin to kiss her at every opportunity. Not even a first date and eventually she’d end up givin in.

On just about every single online datin profile women say they’re lookin for a man that makes them laugh. Well how are we as men supposed to know what makes each individual woman laugh? Tell me the types of things that make you laugh.

Even if they did give us the answer to that question in my experience it takes about 3 months for  “You’re so funny” to turn into… “Is everything a fuckin joke to you?” Uhhhh… yes!! Isn’t that one of the things you liked about me so much for the first 3 months?

I’m up front about everything and maybe that’s one of my downfalls. I know what I like and I know what I’m lookin for. Here’s what I’m lookin for…

Someone beautiful… A pretty face… sometimes I can’t help but stare and admire how beautiful she is. Like the girl I had a drink with the other night… I just sat there in total awe.

Nice body… this varies… I mean I’ve been with all types in my singledom. I don’t mind curvy and I don’t mind thin… someone in between is perfect but I can’t help the fact that when I really think about it I absolutely love someone I can pick up and throw around ;o) I love me a nice flat stomach. Boobs I can go either way with. Nice ass…

Good sense of humor… doesn’t take life too seriously. Can laugh at herself… can laugh at others… can handle my sense of humor… thinks sarcasm and teasin are funny… thinks things like my Dino pics were funny. Doesn’t mind if I break out into song in the car. Maybe even sings along with me.

Smile… I have a thing for smiles. There are some that just drive me crazy and I can feel myself doin anything and everything I can to put it on their face. It’s one of those unselfish selfish qualities I have.

Sweet and cuddly… I loooooove to cuddle. I love to spoon. I love someone who will just walk up and sit next to me and just curl up inside of me like she can’t get close enough. How much do I love to cuddle? I’m single now and I miss cuddlin soooo much that I’ve considered shavin one of my legs so that it’s smooth. This way when it rubs up against the other leg when I’m in bed it feel like she’s right there with me.

All woman… I love me a woman that looks like a woman. I don’t mind the tomboyish girls but there’s a tomboyish girly look and there’s a tomboyish manly look. I like the tomboyish girly look. I love a woman that can make a sundress look beautiful. I’d love it if I found someone who would play softball with me… an athletic woman. It’s not a deal breaker for sure. I can live without that part. But that’s not manly… that’s fuckin sexy. However I don’t ever ever eeeeeeeever wanna walk into the bathroom after her and find the seat up.

Subtle sexiness… not a big fan of the slutty sexy look. I like a woman that can show it without it lookin like she made it a point to show it. Like I said the sundress… not too much if any makeup is nice too. But if she does it’s not the caked on look. It looks all natural.

High sex drive… I love me some sex… I love when the girl loves them some sex… this way we can love ourselves some sex together. An every other day girl at least. There is nothing like sex when you’re BOTH really into each other. I don’t want someone who does it just to appease me every now and then. I want someone who’s gonna come home one day and just jump me in the kitchen. Ya know what I like? I like those women that wear ponytail holders on their wrists. That’s sexy… because it shows me that they’re ready at a moment’s notice and I won’t be the only one givin away the oral… which happens to be my favorite thing to give. Another one of those unselfish selfish qualities. I will do aaaaaaanything to make it work for her. I think that’s why I’ve gotten such great reviews… because I’m super attentive because there’s nothing better to me than takin a woman there.

Have a clean VagFax history report… I don’t know where you’ve been… I don’t know how many times you’ve used that ponytail holder before and I really don’t care… as long as you’ve been carful along the way.

Loves me for me and refuses to be anything but herself… this is probably the most important one. Well except for the high sex drive, the nice body, the sweet and cuddly, the all woman and the beautiful face… I am too God Damn Old to be waitin for her real personality to come out. Fall in love only to find out she’s a ravin psycho. You be you and I’ll be me and if we connect do you know how amazin we’ll be together? Pretty fuckin amazing!!

None of this seems too much to ask does it? I mean I’m not askin for anything overboard or undoable. Just a beautiful sexy woman with a good sense of humor that likes to cuddle… has a high sex drive and loves me for me.