Wednesday, August 1, 2012

You Can't Hide Ugly Forever... Physical Attraction and the Nose Pickin Pussy...


So for no other real reason than I’m a pussy 99.9999% of my datin over the last 3 years is as a result of people I’ve met through online datin. Or I should specify women I’ve met through online datin. I say that because I’m sure if you start to follow me on a regular basis there may be times when we both question my sexuality. Let me make this perfectly clear right from the start… there is no question. I’m as straight as they come. I love me some women.

I love their girl parts… I love the curves of their bodies and the soft curves of their face. Smooooth skin, tender and gentle. That space just below their necks above the breasts… Oooooo and stomachs… I have an obsession with nice smooth flat stomachs. Some guys like T… some guys like A… I give them both a back seat to a nice stomach. But most of all I am a complete sucker for a beautiful smile. If you’ve got one of those smiles that attracts me you can get me to do absolutely anything for you. Not all smiles have that power though. It’s gotta be a special one.

Ok… This has already gotten way off topic… let me focus a little. You’ll have to excuse me. You know the movie “UP” (one of my favs) where Doug keeps gettin distracted by the squirrel? I get like that sometimes. Just call me Doug…

Before I get back on topic this whole typin on the computer is for the birds. I mean on my phone I rarely ever have to type a full word because it gives me suggestions… this typin out the whole word thing fuckin sucks.

Aaaaaanyway… I wanted to talk about online datin. Or more specifically women with no picture to go along with their profiles. I’m sure there are men that do it too but as we cleared up before… Homey don’t play that. So since I don’t check out guys profiles I really don’t know.

Listen… there is no valid reason not to have a picture posted with your profile. Physical attraction is part of the equation. It’s just a fact of life. That’s why all of us are attracted to different types of looks. There are women that have told me I’m “hot” and then proceeded to tell me all the wonderful things they’d like to do to me and there have been women who have that have told me “Chewy… you an fuckin ugly mutha fucka.”

It’s just the way it is. It’s not a bad thing. If we were all attracted to the same types of people then nobody would be special. Nobody to sweep us off our feet because it would just be the norm. None of us want normal... we want amazin. Physical attraction is just one of those things that helps us separate one from the other.

Then it breaks down even further with habits and personality traits. For instance I can’t stand the girl that’s sittin across from me right now because she once caught me with my finger up my nose and now I hate her because she knows that about me.

Just yesterday I walked up behind someone here at work to hand them some paperwork and she had her thumb in her mouth suckin it. The action itself almost turned me on when my brain went other way with the whole suckin thing but then I thought to myself... There’s a chance she may have been doin the same finger/nose thing that I was caught doin with that very same finger just moments before.

Just as an FYI… the finger in the nose thing for me. Not a common thing but it does happen from time to time and the next place for it is definitely not the mouth. It’s probably your shirt or hand when we shake. So if I ever pat you on the back... you should definitely be wonderin. 

But again… there are reasons that we are all so different in so many ways and one of them is findin someone to spend the rest of your life with.

Physical attraction is first for me but it’s definitely not the only thing. I like intelligent women. A woman who knows exactly how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. I like women with a sense of humor. I’m very silly, playful, sarcastic and I tease a lot. My teasin is never malicious it’s always in fun but still not everyone can take that. I like a woman who likes sports or at least tolerates them as another way to spend time with me. Just like I’ll watch their corny TV shows so that I can spend more time with her.

But why hide your picture? I mean eventually that’s gonna have to some out and why not save everybody a little time by just includin it with your profile. If you’re gonna spend a couple of days gettin to know someone and get them really excited just to have them let down in the end it just doesn’t make any sense. There’s someone out there for them… it just isn’t me.

And another thing… I’d been talkin to this one woman for the last couple of days. Her profile was amazin but no picture. Then in one of her emails she finally includes a picture. Gorgeous!! Yesterday she comes clean talkin about how I’ve brought smiles into her life that had been lackin for the last few months and wanted to be honest with me. The picture? Her best friend… not even her. So now she has us both excited about a possible us and then this?!? She finally shares a picture of her true self and she’s not ugly… she’s just not for me.

What do I do with that? Now I have to let down this woman who’s already told me that she’s been lackin smiles for months and add to that. I’m not there to hurt anyone but she left me in a no win position. Despite the fact that she’s the one that lied to me… I now look like the bad guy.

Online it’s already hard enough to get a read on someone without addin the fear of everything they say or what they look like bein a lie. I’m a shy guy (a pussy). I don’t approach women in person so the online thing is all I’ve got. I need it to be real from the very start. One lie leads to many.

I wish people would just be themselves. Can you imagine the amazin relationship you could have with someone if you’re both bein completely yourselves and you click? That’s what I’m lookin for. That undeniable connection in so many ways that it hurts to be away from them for more than a moment. The feelin that when you’re sayin goodbye to that person that’s right in front of you and you already miss them. *sigh*

Ahhh Amore… one day I’ll find it… Squirrel!

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