Your Spoons In The Other Room...

So it’s been a crazy busy couple of days here at work. Yep… that’s where I write from. Can’t exactly afford to have the internet at home right now so it’s either work or the phone. And I can’t image writin an entire entry on the phone. Who knows? Maybe one day.

I’ve been single for about 4 1/2 months now and I’m feelin pretty lonely right now. Which of course has me lookin back at the last relationship and missin it. So many good things about us that I never imagined we wouldn’t be able to work passed the couple of things in our way. We were just too different in some big areas though for her to accept and for me to change.

There were a couple of things about her I wasn’t happy with either. I mean… what kinda woman can’t see the 3D in 3D movies? Some sorta eye issue she has. I should have known right there that it was destined to fail. I’m a movie fiend.

She’s an insomniac who has tons of trouble sleepin and she saaaaaays… I snore. I don’t fuckin believe it but after a while she started askin me to sleep in a different bed in a different room when I stayed over. I’m a spooner… how the fuck am I supposed to spoon from a different bed in a different room? I mean she was a cuddler so that kinda made up for it where she just curled up inside me every night while layin on the couch. Man I miss that. Buuuuut… havin to sleep in a different bedroom? For the rest of our lives together? Not happenin.

I’m looooove sex… A LOT of it and so did she. We fit perfectly and it was the best most beautiful sex I’ve ever had but every time we did… she got a fuckin yeast infection. No matter what preventative measures we tried we’d get like 2 days of crazy sex or sometimes just one and then 2 week off. It was insane. We tried allllllll kinds of different condoms… I washed my hands… brushed my teeth… we showered… eeeeeeverything and still… there it was.

The yeast would be perfect if we were brewin our own beer but when it came to sex… yeast = not good. Just not enough sex for me... I felt like I was married again sometimes. Although the big difference there is that my girlfriend was definitely an initiator which I absolutely loved. It’s soooooo nice to feel wanted. Sex was NOT the problem… and it wasn’t either of our faults… whoever is the goddess of protectin beautiful vaginas was at fault here.

The biggest issues for us were me bein me and her 4 year old boy.

Anytime we were meetin her family or a new friend she would always explain to me what they were like and what parts of me they wouldn’t appreciate. Normally after I’d meet them I couldn’t believe how way off base she was but it still bothered me that she fell in love with who I was but I wasn’t allowed to be that person in front of others. It was just weird.

So many times she’d warn me that my playful teasin or my sarcasm wouldn’t be appreciated and that I shouldn’t share that side of me. I just didn’t get it. Why would I ever need to be anything other than myself? I get that there are moments and places where it might not be appropriate and I control it when I need to but she’d ask for it when it wasn’t those moments or places. And I’d often wonder why not tell your family how much you love me and what a great guy I am but that I can be sarcastic and tease… ya know… give them a heads up instead of askin me to be someone else.

Probably the biggest issue was with her son. He was a boy. In fact I’m sure he still is but for some reason it just seemed like she didn’t want to let him be a boy. He had a strong athletic male figure in his life for basically the first time and he just wanted to be a boy. He wanted to wrestle and play like a boy. He was a little bit of a pussy and needed to toughen up but she just wasn’t havin it.

You know how kids get embarrassed sometimes and act like they get hurt? I mean you can tell when a kid is really hurt or just actin. He would act… she would overreact and I’d get in trouble. It would turn into an argument. It got to the point where I didn’t even want to wrestle when he wanted to because I didn’t wanna start a fight with her. Then he’d get mad because I wouldn’t wrestle with him and I’d lose there too.

She loved his affection and his heart and he was… he was a great kid. She was afraid that toughenin up meant he’s lose that. I’d tell her to look at me… she’d always comment on what a huge heart and what a great guys I was and I grew up gettin teased and gettin in fights. It’s part of bein a boy. But the way I was brought up I didn’t go out and look for fights. It was always a last resort… or something fun to do when we were bored.

My point was that you can be both. You can have your huge heart and still be a boy. He’s gonna deal with it at some point when he starts goin to school. I was preparin him to be a boy.  I wasn’t even allowed to tease him. If he fell… I couldn’t laugh. I had to ask him if he was ok even if it was fuckin hilarious and I knew there was no way he could have really gotten hurt.

With my daughter… she’d never get away with it. My daughter grew up bein teased by me… she knows that I love her and she knows that I think she’s beautiful, smart, carin and amazin… she also has a huge heart. At 15 she’s everything I ever dreamed my daughter would turn out like… It’s just that sometimes she’s a dumbass and I let her know it.

That’s it… those are the two biggest things. The son thing might be hard to understand… if you were there you’d see what I mean. You’d have to see how she reacted sometimes. I loved the kid and would never do anything intentional to hurt him and I’d planned on bein with this woman for the rest of my life so of course I wanted this kid to turn out o be a good kid… his dad had died before he was 2 and I sooooo wanted the job. She was I think just waaaay too overprotective of him in places she didn’t need to be.

No… we didn’t belong together… there’s no doubt about that… but I sure do miss her a lot sometimes.

Aaaaaanyway… I got to see a movie called Tonight You’re Mine last night and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. Excellent movie and incredible that they filmed it in only like 4 days while the music festival was going on.

Now most of you probably don’t have movie makin experience… but I do and 4 days… Wow!! Back a few years ago my daughter was asked to be an extra in the movie Definitely Maybe with Ryan Reynolds. We went in to NY and spent the weekend for the one day shoot.

She was supposed to be an extra in the scene at the beginning of the movie where he goes to pick up his daughter at school. That scene and part of the opening were filmed on that day. In the movie I would say that it took up at the very most like 2 or 3 minutes of the film. That 2 or 3 minutes took us over 12 hours to film… and Tonight You’re Mine was filmed in its entirety in 4 days? Very impressed and even more so since it turned out to be such a good movie.

Another softball tourney this weekend as we try and follow up our state co-ed championship with a win in a money tournament. This is a continuation of a tournament we played on that 103 degree day back in July that got called because of rain at 10:30pm.

Enjoy your weekend…